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Published Sep 10, 21
4 min read

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If you limit his access to you, it can turn ‘you wanting him back’ to ‘him moving mountains in order to get you back’. If you can pull that switch, my work here is done. 7. Spend time with other guys You don’t have to date them. Or sleep with them.

This is a good thing. You’re communicating to your ex that you’re actually wanted by others. We’re all attracted to people wanted by others. By saying that you’re dating around already, you’re pretty much saying that “it’s your loss!” After sending this text they’ll begin to feel attraction for you again because of the “fear of loss” I mentioned earlier.

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And if you didn’t end on the best of terms, chances are he’ll be reluctant to act as if nothing ever changed. Being friendly with him and keeping things strictly platonic is a good way to kick start your interactions. Whenever you’re feeling the itch to tell him how you feel or act romantic, just remember that this is you trying to win him back.

Building a solid foundation as friends might actually help your case and allow him to see you in a different light, which could help your case in getting him back. 9. Don’t badmouth him Yes, I know that it’s tempting, but don’t do it. Once words are said, even in confidence, they have a habit of taking on a life of their own.

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He’s heard what you said about him from a friend of a friend. Obviously, we all need to vent sometimes, but try to keep the focus of those conversations on your own hurt. Don’t go twisting the knife, or try to win sympathy for your side of the story. If you really want to win back your ex, then being indiscreet about him to your friends is a diabolical starting point.

This isn’t about him — so no need to spend your time drawing hearts and practicing your new signature with his surname. It’s about you. Think about what you want from life and what a happy future would look like. Romance might be part of that, but I’m guessing it won’t be all of it.

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When you write something down, you make it graspable. It becomes something that you are able to engage with and think about in a different way, rather than just having lots of random thoughts pinging about in your brain. 11. Don’t try too hard It’s one of life’s quirks that often things happen when you’re looking the other way.

This is partly about him craving someone who has got things together and is living a full and happy life. More than that though, it’s about you being the person you want to be. He doesn’t want a lonely ex-girlfriend sitting at home all day. Live your life. Go out.

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Jeans and a t-shirt are the order of the day here. You can’t go from 0 to 100 miles an hour instantly. If you do get back with him, treat it as you would a new relationship. Take the time to get to know each other again. Have proper dates.

Men can sense desperation and there’s nothing more likely to send him running for the hills. 13. Drop the drama Get led by your head not your heart. Being too emotionally driven in this situation is not your friend. Letting him know that you miss him every hour, or that you can’t live without him, won’t get him back.

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He won’t do it because it feels like ‘the right thing to do’. What he really wants, whether he knows it or not, is a strong woman who can live a perfectly good life without him. You need to show that side of you. 14. Clear the air If you get to the point where you think you’re getting back together, then take the chance to create a solid foundation to build your new relationship on.

Have an honest, clear, and sober conversation before you get together. Make sure you both understand the issues that drove you apart in the first place. And that you are both committed to working with each other to make sure they don’t happen again. This is a conversation about detail, but also about values.

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Setting out some of the ground-rules at this stage may feel a little bit painful, but your relationship will be much better for it. 15. Getting back together is only the start If you do get back with your ex boyfriend, this isn’t game over. Like I said at the start, if you become too focused on just winning that battle, you could easily lose sight of what it was that you wanted in the first place.



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